She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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