After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
You can't just leave with hair like that
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
