So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
