It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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