I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize