I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
