go do what you do best...puke behind churches
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
