I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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