maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
