I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
Letโs not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize