does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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