the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
