Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
