Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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