I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
