I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
