take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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