Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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