this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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