"it" just moved
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
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