Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
They are going to name an STD after you.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
