people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Randomize
