O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
