He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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