You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Randomize
