just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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