I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
