Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry smileysavyy hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(502): View more from Kentucky

All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.

Fav 10 4015 930
share tweet
(862): View more from New Jersey

I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.

Fav 11 4127 1356
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(989): View more from Michigan

I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.

Fav 32 7278 1659
share tweet
(803): View more from South Carolina

She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.

Fav 22 5584 1456
share tweet
(214): View more from Texas

What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.

Fav 21 1106 4138
share tweet
(402): View more from Nebraska

We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."

Fav 5 1714 2621
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(715): View more from Wisconsin

Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.

Fav 8 2434 1141
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(204): View more from Manitoba

I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.

Fav 0 43 12
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(256): View more from Alabama

I may or may not be drunker than time right now.

Fav 0 27 5
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT