real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
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