why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
