If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize