Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
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