It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
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