420 ftw
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize