I wanna bring you to show and tell
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize