Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
