i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
