She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
