you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
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