Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
