Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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