HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
