All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
