shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Randomize
