That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
