Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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