My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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