My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
