Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
