i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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