She's JV to your varsity
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
