You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'm too high and old for this...
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
