You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Who did Billy Mays play for?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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