Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
