my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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