i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
