I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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