sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
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