I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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