While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
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