Swine flu. Run for my life!
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
whose parrot is this?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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